FRAGILE HAIR EXPERIENCE

I finally did it!!

2010-04-18T20:18:00.000-07:00

I was finally able to do some flattwists all the way back on my head. At first glance, it looks like I have cornrowns, but they are flattwists and they look nice. I'll have to figure out how to get some pics up on here. I lost a fair amount of hair in the process because I had to comb through it. I really didn't know any other way to do my hair. I braided it to stretch it out , but because I used Cantu Shea butter leave-in, which made my hair feel somewhat coated, my hair was harder to get through than normal. At any rate, it was worth it to actually have a style. I was getting SO tired of my fro. I mean, I DO love it, but a fro EVERY day is NOT the move for me. Plus, as my hair gets longer, it ties itself in knots and becomes VERY difficult to manage. I personally feel like my hair is difficult to manage as it is, so I need to try to find products that will soften it and help me to stretch it out. It's very difficult to get through the kinks if I do not stretch it out. Also, the only comb that works well on my hair is the Ace wide-toothes comb which is very difficult to get out in town so I have to order it from Amazon.com. I have held TIGHTLY to my comb for years after giving away the others. The last time that I bought them I bought FIVE of them but THIS time I bought THREE of them. To me, this comb is essential for detangling and managing my hair.

AN UPDATE!!

2010-03-19T21:24:00.000-07:00

Hey y'all!
I haven't been here in a while, so I wanted to let you guys know what was going on with my hair. I have been wearing it stretched and it tends to want to knot up when I try to section it off. I still love my hair, though. I bought some Carol's Daughter Smoothie, shampoo and hair balm. I choose the Black Vanilla line and it seems to be good for my hair but I'm not gonna lie and act like my hair has been transformed by this stuff. I DO love the balm, my hair feels so soft with the shampoo, conditioner, and balm. Really, my hair is naturally soft unless I use something TERRIBLE in it. It's still fragile, but I am dealing with that. I thought that I ordered some kind of protein thingy from Sizta to Sizta, but maybe my order didn't go through because I didn't get the stuff and she's really good about getting the stuff to me. Nothing much is going on with my hair other than that.

Not necessary? No, NOT necessary!!!!

2010-02-08T18:49:00.000-08:00

Conditioner, that is. I have a sack full of Aubrey's that I need to take back to the store. I'm not using it any more. My hair seems to get MORE knots when I use conditioner than when I don't. So, needless to say, I have STOPPED using it. My hair is doing a lot better now. I've tried to figure out over the years what the benefit of using conditioner is AFTER the hair dries. I'm only talking about MY hair here. Some people SWEAR by conditioner and it obviously does SOMETHING for them, so THEY should use it. However, I DON'T need it, so I'm not going to spend any more money on the stuff. My hair feels and looks great!

Fragile Hair Update!

2010-02-08T18:20:00.000-08:00

Hello all!! I have a few updates since my last post. I STILL wear my hair shrunken and I really don't see that changing. However, one thing I DO know is that it must be handled wet. for now, my routine has been daily spritzing with water after which I apply Oyin whipped pudding. Now, however, I think that I need to saturate my hair and then apply the whipped pudding because I have fewer knots that way. I am STILL working on the whole "stretching" thing. I used to constantly "stretch" my hair out by pulling it, mostly for the benefit of onlookers. It was as if I was saying to the world "Look, I have hair, TOO!" It was as if my self-worth was directly tied up in the length of my hair! I find that a little bit sad! Now, I am working to reverse YEARS of having that programmed into me by my stepmommy. I know she meant well, but the years of her trying to figure out how to get both mine and my daughter's hair "to grow" have taken their toll on me both emotionally and physically over the years. The family would get together, oohing and ahhing over the long hair of the women in her family. Mine was always pitiful, broken off, and thin. Years of chemical treatments didn't help. Fast forward to NOW, when I'm 35 years of age and my hair is thick and full, yet SHORT and I am happy! Yes, I still long for a bigger fo at times, but back when I used to try to twist/braid my hair to make it bigger, I used to FIGHT knots! I did this mostly because I felt validated by having "bigger" hair. I certainly got a LOT more compliments that way. I even got a compliment from my stepmommy, which was something that I felt was lacking over the years. So, needless to say, a little self-examination has definitely been in order. It is just not HEALTHY to be validated by others. One HAS to have SELF-LOVE. NOT the arrogant, conceited kind of love that makes you feel that no one else HAS TO like what YOU like about YOU.

My hair is very healthy and I am approaching my goal of a 2 inch shrunken fro. After that, I'm not sure I want to grow it out any longer unless I can compact it in some way to fit under my uniform cover. We shall see!

Nappy lessons....

2010-01-19T17:37:00.000-08:00

I did my hair in a a very cute style today. I flat twisted it in the front and left the back in a shrunken fro. I used water the whole times as opposed to trying to do it while dry. It looks fab. It was SO MUCH EASIER to manage. So...grab your water bottles and get to work. Water is a fragile haired girls BEST FRIEND! I keep a bottle handy so that I can manage both mine AND my daughter's hair.

BAD HABIT!!

2010-01-18T13:37:00.000-08:00

I LOVE the feel of my hair and sometimes I just pull on it to stretch it out, which results in lots of knots and tangles that I have to cut off. Therefore, I am going to stop doing that and only handle my hair when it is damp. I have been using Oyin whipped pudding as my daily moisturizer and it is fabulous! Right now I'm sitting here with my hair mushed down from sleeping and
I realy need to get up and DO something with my hair, LOL! My "doing something" is simply spraying water on my hair and finger styling. I will add some hair bands. Hopefully, I can a get a few pics up this time!

LOVING MY HAIR...One day at a time!

2010-01-03T21:10:00.000-08:00

Okay, so I mentioned in an earlier post that one of my goals was total hair acceptance. I have spent MANY hours poring over the fotkis of people who have long hair, whether fine , thick, or otherwise. I have ALWAYS wanted LONG hair. I am 35 years old and I've NEVER had it. It's quite possible that I never will. However, barring any unforeseen circumstances, I CAN have healthy, filled-in hair. THAT will be my goal. I want the top layers to fill in and meet the bottom layers so that I don't have as many gaps. I'll keep y'all posted!

PRODUCT REVIEW-Aubrey Organics Rosa Mosqueta

2010-01-03T21:05:00.000-08:00

Well, I've said it before, but the Rosa Mosqueta conditioner by Aubrey Organics is AMAZING! I am not in love with the smell, but this product instantly detangles my hair AND leaves it very soft. I also used the companion shampoo. Now, Aubrey shampoos seem a little stripping to me, but the conditioner counteracts that. I try not to manipulate my hair much during the shampooing process and once I add the conditioner, VOILA!!! I used the shampoo on my daughter's hair as well. Now, mind you, her scalp NEVER responds well to all-natural shampoos, but this one worked. I had to lather several times (which is normal) but it didn't strip her hair the way that Suave Daily Clarifying does. PLUS I felt good knowing that I was using a non-SLS shampoo in her hair. I figured that I would LOVE to take the same great care of her hair and scalp as I do mine. Until Aubrey's I was unable to successfully use natural shampoos on her hair. Great stuff!

Ok, so no more GEL!!

2010-01-03T20:45:00.000-08:00

I DO plan to get some Oyin Shine and Define for more hold on the ends, though. I'm also going to get some brown sugar hair pomade for hair and scalp. I'm tempted o try her after bath blended oil as well if it comes in a yummy fragrance. I got the honey wash and it smells SCRUMPTIOUS. I haven't tried it on my hair yet, but I probably will before the week is out.

The REASON that I say not to gel is that when I was taking down my braids, my hair was catching an knotting because of the residue and stickiness of the gel. For FRAGILE hair, that can be a disaster!

My journey from here on out will be MUCH more peaceful. I RESOLVE to love my hair, NOT to complain about it, to be GENTLE and to WORK WITH my hair.

My new adventure!

2010-01-01T21:13:00.000-08:00

Hey ya'll! I am on a new adventure! I recently placed my hair in box braids. I lubricate my hair with carrot oil. It helps me to keep down knots. So far, so good. I am in the process of redoing the back, then I'll get to the right side, because I need to make my parts a little smaller. When I first braided my hair, I didn't like it. Now, I LOVE it!! I'm going to take my time and retighten it and eventually I will have it exactly the way that I want it to be. It looks so cute when I pixie the ends with some gel. I use Tresemme maximum hold. It smells and holds well. My shampoo and conditioner of choice is Aubrey Organics Rosa Mosqueta. Their conditioner is the absolute BEST that I have ever used. The runner up is the ORS replenishing. Of course, the ORS has a LOT of sythetic ingredients AND it has orange oil in it, which tends to act as an irritant for me.

I think I've figured out a way to manage my FRAGILE hair and cut down on breakage! YAY!!!

Healthy hair CAN be cheap!

2009-11-27T23:07:00.000-08:00

It doesn't cost a lot to have a head full of kinky, healthy hair. The products that I have used have run the gamut from $16 for 4 ozs to @3.00 for 8 ozs. In the long run, I prefer to use over-the counter CHEAP products that I can get at my local Wal-Mart. Tonight, the purchase was B&B castor oil oil moisturizer. This stuff has amazing slip! I don't know why I stopped using it. I also picked up some Suave Humectant shampoo and conditioner. I'm not sure if I like it as well as my trusty VO5, but we'll see. Neither of them are doing as well a job as I would like. I spent at LEAST 30 mins in the aisle at Wal-Mart trying to figure out what might work. I saw what appeared to be another gem from Garnier Fructis. It contained palm oil among other things and looked like a good find, but I didn't venture out to try it just yet. The good thing is that if I hate it I can take it back to the store. I might try it one day.

My BEAUTIFUL hair!

2009-11-19T21:10:00.000-08:00

Hey beautifuls! I am happy to say that I have had some WONDERFUL hair days lately. I have been wearing my hair completely shrunken and pinned back in a faux puff using bobby pins. I moisturize with Qhemet Biologics Amla and Olive Heavy cream. I keep coming back to that stuff. Seriously. I have spent MAJOR moolah on many other things, but this stuff WORKS! It is relatively natural. The price is $16 for an 8 oz jar, but she IS having a sale on Black Friday. I HAVE to remember to log on and get mine! I think three jars should suffice. That will last me for MONTHS! Mine and my daughter's hair stays SO moist with that stuff! Her website is www.qhemetbiologics.com. Try it, you won't be disappointed!

Hey ladies!

2009-10-19T06:13:00.000-07:00

It is so nice to come on here and see all of the beautiful faces to my right! I hope you ladies have been enlightened by this blog. I have learned so much about my beautiful, fragile hair. I have added deep conditioning back into my regimen. I think it is helping me to retain moisture better. I used the S2S (www.sizta2sizta.com) Halt Breakage Control Mask on my hair (as well as my daughter's) this weekend and I really liked it. One thing that I liked was the way that the product felt while I applied it. The other thing that I liked was the way that it felt after rinsing. I think that this product will help with breakage. I have also been using her daily oil moisturizer. Like most products, there are good and bad ways for me to use this lotion. First, let me list all of the benefits:
1) it provides moisture without being greasy.
2) it does NOT contain mineral oil, silicones, propylene glycol, or anything like that.
3) it is VERY affordable, though her shipping charges are a DOOZY! In fact, most companies shipping charges are a DOOZY these days.
4) her products last, so you get even MORE bang for your buck!
5) her products do NOT cause any scalp or skin issues for me, which is HUGE!

These are the cons:
1) I cannot apply her lotion to my SHRUNKEN hair for more than two days in a row. The first time I tried that, I ended up with stiff, dry hair. I don't know why, because her moisturizer works really well for me.
2) it has to be ordered online. This isn't a REALLY big issue, because I don't mind ordering online. I just wish that I had consolidated some of my orders.

All in all, I think I'm going to REALLY enjoy using her products. They seem to work really well for my daughter as well.

IS IT OR IS IT??

2009-10-12T21:48:00.000-07:00

Well, I thought the ORS conditioner was causing my acne, but I haven't used it in a few days and I'm STILL have the same pattern of breakouts. I'm not really SURE what is causing my breakouts. I just know that conditioner was AMAZING and I miss it!

I ordered some S2S products and my hair feels great, though not as soft as before. Either way, I'm still doing well!

I enjoyed it while it lasted...

2009-10-06T19:19:00.000-07:00

Well, I enjoyed my stretched out hair while it lasted. I did a couple of styles, but my hair SHRINKS so easily that by day three it just wasn't worth it to tackle the bush and put it in twists just to have a semi-stretched fro style. I ALWAYS get tired of this after a few days because right now my hair is so short and shrinkage is just not very forgiving. I am still using the ORS replenishing conditioner and I actually got it in the big bottle. I LOVE the way that my hair feels after rinsing this product out. I also feel that my hair is getting softer with each use of the conditioner. I have been using my Qhemet Amla and Olive Heavy cream as a moisturizer instead of the Blue Magic. To me, Blue Magic works better when I'm stretching my hair stretched out vice wearing it shrunken. When I wear it shrunken, I prefer to use hair lotions or creams. I have S2S on order again since I am using a good conditioner. My hair might actually be softer now. I remeber giving it a not so good review in the past. We'll see. As far as my hair being fragile, it has gotten MUCH easier to deal with now that I have a great conditioner. My hair is growing for SURE and I hope to get the six inxh goal by the end of the year.

HAIR TIP- When sectioning off the hair to do nighttime twists, /I tend to use my fingers instead of a comb. I pick the strands apart if they tie themselves together. It is best to lift the strands out of the knot as opposed to pulling downward on the knot. Pulling downward will tighten the knot. It also helps to put a little oil or moisturizer on the knot before attempting to loosen it.

Back to the shrunken fro

2009-09-28T09:12:00.000-07:00

Well, today I went back to my shrunken fro. I had forgotten how cute I look with it. I put on some lipstick and I will probably take a couple of pics. When I wear my hair shrunken, it really doesn't look as if it is growing very much. Let me tell you, it IS!!

I LOVE the effects of the ORS replenishing conditioner. It has actually changed my my hair for the better. I never thought I'd say this, but my hair is actually softer after drying SINCE I started using the conditioner. This from a lady who had SWORN off conditioners. To THINK that my holy grail has been sitting on the shelf of Wal-Mart all of this time!

I am very happy with the state of my hair these days. It looks VERY healthy and is QUITE easy to manage. All I do when I style it is use my fingers. I did a twistout yesterday, but due to the length, I didn't really like it that much. Unless I grow 8-10 inches of hair, I probably won't be wearing twistouts.

I did YET another experiment this morning. I shampooed and conditioned and then applied the ORS Olive Oil sheen spray vice my Blue Magic. It will be interesting to see how it feels after it dries. So far. it feels pretty soft. If that WORKS for me, then I will just do that from now on so that I can get to my scalp.

ORS Replenishing condish is a keeper!

2009-09-22T21:35:00.000-07:00

I tried the conditioner a second time and got the same superb results AND my hair is actually SOFTER after drying than normal. Needless to say, I'll be keeping this around. I like the detangling effect that it has on my hair as well. I plan to get some pics in my fotki of my crazy twists. They are very short and they kinda go every which way since I have so much shrinkage. They will look better as my hair grows out. I only have four inches, so I don't have a LOT to work with. Hopefully in time. Still no combs for me. Too much pain!

I used the Sulphur 8 shampoo and lathered three times because Blue Magic seems to be very hard to shampoo out for me. It is good stuff, just difficult to get out of the hair. I ended up buying some Proclaim (Sally's knock-off) wonder oil for my scalp. It was itchy and flaky.

My daughter's hair is holding up well. I kinds did a spot trim on her hair last wash day. I will try to go through it more thoroughly at a different time. Right now, I think I could use a trim as well, but it is a lot of work for me to trim mine and I don't have enough hair to let someone else take a stab at it.

Hair length update

2009-09-21T22:16:00.000-07:00

I measured my hair a few days ago and I have about 4 inches of length all around. It has taken quite a whie for my hair to gain length. I looked in my fotki album and back in May I wrote that I had 4 inches and then a month later I wrote that I had 3 1/2 inches. So, if I had 3 1/2 inches in June, that means that it has taken 2 months for me to grow a 1/2 inch of hair. All things being normal, at this rate, my hair COULD grow 6 inches in one year. However, I think I actually grow 4 inches of hair in a year. We shall see...

I DID get the ORS conditioning pac and I actually liked the results that I got. That was one use, so I really can't make an assessment until I have used it for a little while. My hair was somewhat easier to manage but still tied itself together a bit.

I am at a loss as to what to do with my hair (that will make me happy and the NAVY happy) so I feel a little frustrated. I only have 4 inches of hair, so no ponytails or even bunny tails can be made. I tried all that back in the day when I had a little more length and my hair always looked a mess. I think it would just be so much easier with actual length. I can't wear twists, either. Cornrows HURT my scalp SO bad!! I don't know what to do!!

CORNROWS- FINALLY!!

2009-09-03T08:48:00.000-07:00

I decided to try to cornrow my hair again. Now, this has always been quite a feat, as I FIRST have to stretch my hair out so that it can be more manageable. In order to do this, I have to put my hair into several plaits. My product of choice for this endeavor was good ole-fashioned Blue Magic. This stuff makes both mine and my daughters hair amazingly easy to comb AND it minimizes breakage, though we will ALWAYS have some breakage. Well, I shampooed my hair, applied Blue Magic and went to town. My cornrows came out okay. Now that I have survived that styling session, I might venture out and let someone cornrow my hair since it it now stretched out VERY well. I don't know, one step at a time. Most braiders yank and pull. I have a tender, sensitive scalp. This usually leaves me with sores on my head. I think I'll just do it MYSELF, because it is less of a headache (no pun intended) and it is free. I don't like tight braids, which is what I tend to end up with.

Deep conditioning....so, there I was, standing in Wal-Mart eyeing a bottle of Olive Oil Replenishing conditioner. As I recall, this stuff was amazing, but quite frankly, the orange oil scares me!! I MIGHT give it a shot since the Cathy Howse stuff made rashes break out on my hands and I spent over $50 on a conditioning bonnet. We'll see how it goes. Orange oil is pretty high on the list of ingredients and it is a KNOWN irritant to my skin. Perhaps I'll start off with a packet and see how I do. I shuld be able to get tw uses from one packet and that should be enough to help me see whether or not I can tolerate it. Sitiing under a heat cap will surely put it to the test. This conditioner seems to contain all the right ingredients for strengthening my hair. I'll try it out on my DD as well. We could both benefit from a strengthening deep conditioner.

Her hair is growing nicely. I just did a set of cornrows and her hair looks fab. Of course, her patches are filling in slowly, but they ARE filling in.

These days I have not been too particular about products. I just find that MOST of the things that I use DON'T have special characteristics. Shampoo is shampoo. As long as a conditioner has slip, I'm pretty much good to go. I know that the ORS condish will help with softening an detangling (as I remember) especially since it contains some silicones. I always keep a bottle of Suave daily clarifying shampoo handy as it seems to work well without stripping my hair.

It's growing ya'll! I can't be certain. but I think I might have 4 1/2 to 5 inches now. I haven't measured and I would like to get into a regular cornrowing routine so as to keep my hair tangle-free and neat. I love my shrunken fro, but it just wasn't doing it for me. I needed a style. I know that the more that I practice cornrowing my OWN hair, the better I will get. We'll see how it goes.

I'm so EXCITED!!

2009-08-27T15:32:00.000-07:00

Like many aspiring mixtresses, I have been working diligently on formulating products for MY hair. Unlike most product lines, mine will be OIL FREE. The focus here is creating moisturizing products that provide slip. This is the PERFECT recipe for FRAGILE hair like mine and my daughter's. I don't think the answer is PILING ON PROTEIN as much as providing slip and moisture to prevent the loss of strands. MY hair type (kinky AND fragile) is PRONE to breakage AND dryness. Right now, my daughter (who also has kinky and fragile hair) has two major patches of breakage and I TRY very hard to be gentle with her hair. My goal for HEr is fullness and evenness rather than length right now. However, I think I have the theoretical part of our haircare down to a science, now I just have to figure out the product ingredients needed to make sure that our hair is well taken care of. I am on my way....I made my first test batch of conditioner. Now I am beginning to finalize the list of ingredients for each product. Since I am in the process of moving, I'll have to wait to get settled before I can do my SERIOUS work. So, I think that October will see the beginnings of the ACTUAL product line being consistent and THEN I should actually be able to get some samples out. My goal is NOT to compromise my product as I have seen so many others do. I also want to market to the few people (like myself) who have sensistive skin or who just prefer to use minimal ingredients in their haircare. Wish me luck!!!

The quest to make the PERFECT leave-in....

2009-08-19T20:06:00.001-07:00

So I have the moisture phase of my leave-in down and now I just need to add some slip. I think BHTMS will do the trick. It will be tricky figuring out how much to use. That's the fun part!

IT IS GROWING!!

2009-08-19T19:43:00.001-07:00

Well, my fragile hair care essay has paid off! I have exceeded my typical bang length of below my browlie. My hair is just at the bridge of my nose when stretched, which is something that I haven't been able to achieve i the past. Yes, the progress IS SLOW but at the same time it IS STEADY. I made up my own oil-free moisturizer usig vegetable glycerin, aloe vera gel and a little bit of water. It makes a very viscous liquid, but it sprays out nicely and makes my hair feel wonderful. The only thing that I don't like is that it doesn't have any slip. I am going to research and see what ingredient I can find that will add slip and yet be silicone free. If I can get that ONE key ingredient, I will have a WONDERFUL oil-free moisturizing serum. GOOD STUFF!!

Cathy Howse products

2009-08-18T11:47:00.000-07:00

Okay, I actually like the conditioner. It stimulates my scalp and is supposed to help strengthen my hair. The creme moisturizer is actually okay. My hair is soft and nongreasy. I will probably repurchase due to the lower cost of the product and her low shipping costs. I will never purchase the Dew product again. I am going to take some pics to start my 365 day challenge to see if these products help retain length. Wish me luck!

UPDATE

2009-08-17T22:29:00.000-07:00

Ok, so Carol's Daughter didn't do it for me. I also ordered some Cathy Howse products and I have to say that they were a disappointment as well. I think the creme moisturizer will be a great product for my daughter's hair, which thrives off of oils. My hair does well with oils, but my skin does not do well. I made a concentrated glycerin, aloe and water mix and it seems to make my hair soft. I guess I'll save money in the long run, but it won't make up for all of the money that I've wasted. Ah well, I have to move on.

Trying something new...a review of Carol's Daughter

2009-08-11T07:12:00.000-07:00

Okay, historically I have NOT had much success with glycerin-based leave-in sprays, but I decided to give Carol's Daughter leave-ins a chance. Here's what I found: The product is light and easy to use but DOES NOT have any slippage for my hair. That's fine because I no longer use a comb or pick of any kind on my hair. After my hair dries (using Khoret Amen leave-in) it feels soft, but I'm not overly cray about the way that it looks. The benefit is that my skin is less oily than when using a traditional oil-based product. I have another product on the way. It is from Cathy Howse. I'll let you know how I like that one when I get it. Her leave-in is chocked full of silicones and propylene glycol. I'm not sure if it's going to work, but since I ordered it I have to use it. We shall see....

The freedom to BE!!

2009-07-30T12:42:00.000-07:00

If you've been following this blog for a while, you've probably read my comprehensive essay on the care of fragile hair. I've decided that I'd like to repost this with updates once per month if I get a chance to. So, here goes!

As of 26 August, 2009, I decided to make the essay into a small booklet vice posting it here. I am learning a lot. My research is based off of what has worked on my hair and what I am trying to accomplish with it along with what has worked for my daughter. We both have extremely fragile hair and I just want to help as many as possible. Thanks!

LIFE AND MAINTENANCE OF A TWA

2009-07-23T12:12:00.000-07:00

My routine is so simple it should be against the law!! All I do is shampoo, rinse, pat dry with a towel, apply moisturizer, finger shape and go! My hair doesn't really equire much else. After sleeping, my hair is flat down to my head. When I wake up, I spray water on it, rub it in, finger shape, and go. This routine requires minimal manipulation and I've noticed less hair coming out these days. If I feel the need, I will add conditioner to the regimen to help remove shed hairs. My hair is very fine and fragile, so I simply let it be. Granted, the final look isn't what most people would think of as beautiful, but I love it!!

My moisturizer of choice is Amla and Olive Heavy cream. It can be found at http://www.qhemetbiologics.com/. The owner of this business is very down to earth and really cares about her customers. Hop on over and take a look!!

BACK TO THE OLD!!

2009-07-23T12:08:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I've tried braiding, twisting, etc in order to stretch out my hair and make it fuller. One thing that I have noticed is that my hair responds to the LEAST amount of moisture in the air, so stretching it out not only takes time (I have to put it is SEVERAL sections due to it being so short) but it is a waste of that time as well. My hair grows out (as does a LOT of afro hair, yet SHRINKS in. It takes FOREVER for me to show any amount of length due to the shrinkage rate of my hair. I love my hair, so I am going to just have to work with it in the best way for the strands

A new way of styling....

2009-07-21T00:33:00.000-07:00

I got some Olive and Honey hydrating balm from Qhemet Biologics in the mail today. I think that I will be able to use this as a dry styler. Basically, I will just lift and pull my hair out with my fingers after rubbing on some of this balm. I wish that it was in a squeeze bottle rather than a jar. It is not quite a solid and not quite a liquid. Though this product contains honey, it is not sticky. I have decided to refrain from poting my review of the product to the website until I have used it ALL ALONE. Right now, I have heavy cream in my hair and I rubbed the hydrating balm in on top of it. My hair is mega soft, but would it be that way without the heavy cream? I'll keep ya'll posted.

SHRINKAGE

2009-07-21T00:18:00.000-07:00

For the most part, for the last six months I have worn my hair in all of its shrunken glory. I personally prefer the look of my hair in a puff, but it's SO MUCH WORK AND my hair doesn't like being stretched out. It shrinks up TIGHT at the first HINT of any moisture. So, I'm back to shrunken fros for probably like, EVER!! I think that IF I get the 6-8 inches of hair that is my goal then I MIGHT stretch my hair again. I've never had hair that long, so we'll see. I am doing everything that I can to be gentle so that my fro will gain some more fullness. Due to the amount of shrinkage I have, I think the best goals are measure in terms of shrinkage. I would LOVE to have 2 inches of srhinkage, since I am not allowed more bulk than 2 inches in uniform. Right now, I have about 1/2 an inch of hair when shrunken and I have 4 inches of length. So my hair is 1/8 of it's natural length when shrunken. I would have to have 16 inches of length to get the fullness that I desire. For some, this is an easy feat, but for me, not really. So, I wonder if a more realistic goal is a 1 inch fron, which would require 8 inches of hair. Sigh....I think it IS better to focus on healthy hair. I have that, though, so what else? I guess I could just be content with that. I know I'm never going to be one of those people who has a big mega puff. I have put down the comb and stopped fighting with my hair. It does not want to be stretched. Sigh....

TRIMMING!! ALL I CAN SAY IS WHEW!

2009-07-13T14:30:00.000-07:00

Today I trimmed my hair and I was VERY tired afterwards. I have to REALLY section off my hair in order to get through it. It doesn't help that I only have 3 1/2 inches of hair and don't want to lose ANY length. I joined a TWA challenge on Nappturality and the goal was to have 5 inches of growth by the end of the year. I don't remember if it was December of last year or WHEN, but I know that I am STRUGGLING to get length and I'm not even harsh with my hair at all. I guess I should just sit back and relax. The length will come in time. I used some Amla and Olive Heavy cream by Qhemet and my hair feels WONDERFUL!!

GUESS WHAT I FOUND???!!!

2009-07-12T21:38:00.000-07:00

I found a really nice CHEAP cone-free, propylene glycol AND paraben free conditioner for les than $3. It is called Africa's Best Instant Detangling conditioner. I posted about this on a hair board that I frequent. I like this MUCH better than Suave Tropical coconut! The tropical coconut is thin and runny and does a decent job of moisturizing, but the Africa's Best is REALL good at moisturizing. It DOES have protein-like ingredients at the end of the list, so I used it as a deep conditioner. Light protein treatments work BEST for me, so I got that to use as a regular and deep conditioner. I am okay with the Suave, but I'll porbably use it on my DD's hair until I run out because she has softer hair than mine and her hair responds better to the Tropical coconut. One thing that I know is that I am back to using conditioner. The Africa's best does a much better job at detangling than the Suave does. It's time for me to trim my ragged ends. I don't want to lose the little bit of length that I have retained, but no since in holding on to raggedy ends. I think I'll section my hair off and go through it with the scissors tomorrow.

COMBS?

2009-07-03T13:21:00.000-07:00

I must say that combs are simply the most evil inventions when it comes to both mine and my daughter's hair. My hair will break off whether I dampen it or not. The same goes with my daughter's hair. Is it possible for us to have full, healthy hair. Even if our hair is short, I will be happy if I can get it to be full and not have places of breakage. The spots are more of an issue for my daughter than for me. I try really hard to mamage her hair and keep it from looking frizzy and dry. I think I need to go back to Blue Magic for her. It worked!

I haven't been styling my hair, but I miss my semi-stretched fro.

HAIR GROWTH

2009-06-28T06:15:00.000-07:00

I just started a growth album in my fotki, which can be found at www.fotki.com/gilroygal. I would like to chronicle my efforts to retain length, since that has been a MAJOR hurdle for me my WHOLE life. The longest my hair has ever been was six inches relaxed and 5 1/2 inches natural. The reason for the difference in growth potential with relaxed vs natural is (I think) due to the mechanical handling of my hair. My hair is very fine and FRAGILE as I've mentioned before. When it is completely shrunken, it LOOKS thick because three-four inches of hair looks like 1/2 an inch, so everything is very compacted. My main goal is six inches of hair, ESPECIALLY in the front, which will be a MAJOR feat for me. I KNOW I have to be VERY gentle with the comb in order to do this. Wish me luck!

I DID THE UNTHINKABLE!!!

2009-06-26T15:04:00.000-07:00

Yep, I straightened my hair. Though not permanent, the style WAS cute. I have to say that my hair grows out in layers that look very attractive when flipped. Anywhoo, I doubt I'll ever do that again. It took so much efort to do it, plus I HATED the smell of pressed hair. I used a blow dryer, then a flat iron, then a plug-in pressing comb and STILL my hair did not get straight. My strands REBELLED. I mean, I had a full, flipped, look, but it can be very damp and moist here in Washington, so my efforts didn't last long at ALL. So, needless to say, I'm back to my shrunken fro. My hair has grown SO MUCH, but I realized that I need to TRIM it more often. I think I will BAND my hair to get the desired stretched look for trimming. It just doesn't pay to do it since I don't have much length. I am at about four inches overall. I haven't been using combs until yesterday. My hair KNOTS so much that combing through it helps. I just have to REALLY be careful NOt to snap strands off. It's easy to do with my hair type. I personally would like to be ALL DONE with knots and I WISH that my hair would grow out full and long like so many others that I've seen, but I just have to be resolved with what I have for now. If I get SIX inxhes, I will be happy.

HAIR GROWTH

2009-06-18T15:10:00.000-07:00

I updated my pic today. My hair has grown quite a bit since I started my new routine. I have about 4" of hair on the sides and my "test piece" is now 3 1/8" long. I have a goal of 6" for my "test piece" by the end of the year. I have never been able to get 6" of hair in the front, so this will be an incredible feat for me. I think that my hair MIGHT look to be 1 1/2" in length
(after shrinkage) by then. My overall goal for my hair is 8", yet another never before seen length on my hair.

Little update...

2009-06-08T08:47:00.000-07:00

Hey y'all!! I've been CRAZY busy with life and my "hair experience has been limited to simply dampening my hair with water (or for a little while KBB hair milk) and then finger-cobing to shape. After that, I simply jet out the door to live life. Well, yesterday I decided to try to do some finger coils on my hair and they look OKAY, but they will probably get taken down because SOMEONE will say that they look like dreads, which are not authorized in the Navy while in uniform.

I rediscovered the Wild Growth 'lite" oil moisturizer and that stuff works like a charm for my hair as well as for my daughter's hair. Now, unlike the ORIGINAL version that STINKS to HIGH HEAVEN, the lite version has an earthier fragrnace, which I like. I am not using this to get and "wild growth", but it does lubricate and soften my strands so that I can manage them better. I still don't do many styles because most of my hair is only three inches long. There are places where it is longer, but overall, that's what I've got.

I haven't used a comb in months and I don't think I ever will again. Since I am resigned to wearing my hair at least SOMEWHAT shrunken, I don't really see the need for it.

My hair is best handled DRY. After all of the years that I have been reading and studying up on natural hair (as well as experimenting on my own)I have decided that I can best twist and handle my hair after it has dried. I also noticed that I am losing fewer strands these days. I have been keeping my hair care relatively simple. I HAVE TO use shampoo, the kind with ALS or SLS. It just works better for me. It might be the water here or whatever, but it is needed. I stopped and got a bottle of Suave Tropical coconut shampoo and three bottles of the conditioner, which I use to help free shed hairs. Now that I know the purpose of conditioner in my regimen, I no longer have to look for the "amazing formula" that is going to help soften or otherwise enhance my hair. That is what the oil is for. :)

OKAY!!!!!!

2009-04-07T10:44:00.000-07:00

I have been doing well with my hair. My scalp is in a tizzy and it looks like it's snowing brown flakes when I scratch my head sometimes, but other than that, we're doing okay. I tried doing some flat twists on my hair, but once I got to a certain point, I COULD NOT position my arms in such a way as to mke them look good. Plus, I don't have enought length in the back to do anything with the ends once I finish out the twist, so my hair is back in the shrunken fro style that I typically wear. For me, styles are pretty much a bust these days as I only have 2 1/2 inches or so of hair to work with. I guess I should just be patient and find something else to focus my energy on. It's hard for me sometines, because I really DO want long hair!!

OK....ACCEPTANCE HAS ARRIVED!!!

2009-03-22T12:14:00.000-07:00

Alright, so I mentioned in an earlier post that I was going to go with the Suave Daily Clarifying shampoo....good to go!! They changed the fragrance and I LOVE it AND it happens to be quite gentle. So, SCORE on that one. As for the B&B, when will I LEARN that I DON'T like hair grease and just GET OVER IT???!!! I got some Kemi Oyl. That stiff makes my hair SO SOFT and it smells GREAT and is EASY to rinse out. My fro is thriving. It takes SO little effeort to manage it AND the Kemi Oyl is SUPER detangling. LOVE IT!!!!!

New pic...SOMEDAY!!

2009-03-18T14:02:00.000-07:00

I think I'll update my pic since I have a little something going on in the hair department now. I don't have much to show in terms of style. I just do a zigzag part in my hair in the front (semi-middle) and smoth it back with a couple of clippies. I can't go too far back because my hair isn't very long in the front, but it's cute nonetheless. I think my length retention will be better now that I have changed the handling of my hair a bit. So maybe I'll make it to 35 with a head full of hair! I have a pitcture on my desk with a stretched fro that was pretty massive. I KNOw I can get there again. Thing is, I'd like to get that size fro on my SHRUNKEN hair. I wonder if I'm dreaming to think that I can get a two inch SHRUNKEN fro?

My dd's hair is doing well. I cut it pretty even and will keep it at that length until the top areas that are broken off grow out. Her hair will basically be in a bob by the time that I get through with it. I am going to go back to the Suave Daily Clarifying, but I think that not using the rubber bands has been a GREAT thing for her hair. The little broken off patches are filling in. They are surrounded by longer hair, so I have cut the longer hair down to a reasonable length so that the VERY short hair can get even with it. I NEED to get some sharper scissors so that the ends are blunt. I also have to stop clipping it EVERY time I touch it. Her cornrows end pretty evenly at the bottom of her neck, so it's all good.

LEAVING CONDITIONER IN....

2009-03-17T12:20:00.000-07:00

Not the move! Even with the oils! So....I dumped that out. My scalp has been REALY flaky these days and I think it is due to buildup. I bought some Suave Daily clarifying and gave it a good scrub. I also bought some B&B Extra Lite Super Gro (an old standby) and my hair is very soft. Needless to say, I am very happy. Hopefully, this will be the end of my hair woes in terms of hair products.

I bought some Goody Ouchless combs a while ago and they work really well at lifting my hair. I am careful not to pull through, though, because that will cause unneccessary pulling of the hair.

I THINK I DID IT!!

2009-03-12T10:51:00.000-07:00

I think I did it!! I THINK I made a REALLY great detangler. All I did was use some VO5 Free Me Freesia and apricot kernal oil, mix it in a bottle and add water. It detangles my hair like a dream!!! It is also ver inexpensive to make. I buy Aura Acacia Oils and they have the vent-type hole in the top of the bottle that keeps the product from wasting out. You actually have to squirt the bottle in order to get the product out. I use about 8 squirts and possibly 1/4 cup of conditioner. I also used the Free Me Freesia as my conditioner in the shower and I kept rinsing because I didn't think it was really going to make my hair that soft! I was VERY happy with the outcome! One thing, though, if I DON'T add the oil, I have COPIOUS FLAKES!!!

That spot....

2009-03-11T14:42:00.000-07:00

I think the spot on my scalp MIGHT begin to heal for good now. It's quite possible that I can use the B&B Castor Oil lotion. I'm not 100% sure on it, but I figured it might be good to try ONE thing for an extended period and NOT give up on it. The Oyin Whipped pudding works OKAY on my hair. One thing about shea butter based products is that the FIRST day my hair will feel awesome, but in the subsequent days, my hair begins to feel somewhat hard. I MIGHT be resigned to it if my latest experiment doesn't work for me. My son asked me yeterday if I LIKE buying hair products. For the first time, I could actually anser a confident NO! I just REALLY want to get my SCALP to a manageable point. I don't want to ACCEPT that I might be stuck with the Oyin whipped pudding. It takes FOREVER to get here!!

Shrunken fro...

2009-03-10T11:11:00.000-07:00

Well, if you've been coming on here, you probably know by now that I have about two inches of hair. Well, I twisted it out to make it fuller...and it was....until....WORKOUT TIME!! So, needless to say, I simply shampooed my hair and then went ahead and let it shrink after fingercombing. My hair WANTS to be shrunken. I am tired of that look, but even when it grows out, I have to FIGHT with it so much to get the desired look because I SWEAT in my head! I am tring to accept it, but it's not my favorite look. I parted it in the front and put clippies on it to make it look less masculine.

I NEED to QUIT!!

2009-03-09T15:07:00.000-07:00

Caution...RANT ahead!!!
Okay, so when I wrote the LAST post,, I had an order of coca hemp buttercream on order from Donna Marie. WHHHHYYYYYYY?????? Why do I keep trying to hold out hope that I will actually be able to use something OTHER THAN olive oil??? I just need to give up and go on. I think that going on hair boards is not conducive to me right now. I have learned a LOT, but MAN, allI do is TRY different products hoping that each one will be the next best thing. My SCALP is telling me to STOP!! I give in. My hair is thriving, but I gotta let go! I am going to try a twistout on my little two inches of hair tonight. I can't wait to get past this length.

STILL no measurements..

2009-03-06T10:58:00.000-08:00

I don't even know if I'm going to. I have a goal of healthy, manageble, moist hair and I think I'll focus on that . I tried a sample ( getting smart in my old age) of Komaza Callaffia moisturizing spray and the little sore that I had on my scalp has flared up, so I'll use my samples (only have two) on my daughter till they run out and I won't be purchasing anything after that. I'll have to stick with olive oil and just be happy with my results. Everything else either makes my scalp flake, itch, or develope sores. I guess that's the end of the rope for me. The Nature's Gate shampoo and condish work well. My scalp was actually healing from it. I DO have one more item on the way and I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to use it, but I'll gicve it a try. The hair butter that I got from Komaza was okay, but nothing that I'd rush out and buy again. The products are also fragrant and I need to limit my exposure to fragrance. Oh well, I live and FINALLY learn. It has taken me LONG enough!!

Didn't get to measure, but.....

2009-03-03T10:27:00.000-08:00

I DID get a chance to think about how I want to go about my growth journey. I'm going to call it "Phases"
After reading SEVERAL hair care books, I decided to go ahead and pen my own method. So, allI'm doing is a cut and paste of what I wrote before coupled with other things that I am learning.

What I'm working with....

2009-03-02T18:25:00.000-08:00

I now have about 2 1/2 inches of hair. I cut off about 1/2 inch. My hair is not TOTALLY even all over, but I'd say that's the average lenght. With that said, I have a goal in mind that I THINK is doable. It is now March and hubby comes home in July. So...I should be able to grow 2 1/2 more inches of hair by that time for a total of 5 inches of hair. that's going to look like a LOT on my head, so WATCH OUT! What I am doing is taking vitamins, being gentle (which means avoiding combs/picks like the PLAGUE. I will have a goal section to make life easier and I will use the SHORTEST and SLOWEST growing section of hair for my documentary. In fact, I 'm not sure that section is even 3 1/2 inches long. It is my VERY FRONT section that never seems to get past my eyebrows, so I'll have to treat it with EXTRA SPECIAL CARE. Off to get a ruler.....

I KNOW it's hard....

2009-03-02T18:15:00.000-08:00

To come on here and read me ranting and raving and NOT want to help. I think I just have to remember what I did the first year to get my hair so healthy. There was quite a bit of hair at my disposal BEFORE I started listening to the critics. I mean, face it, I had NO ONE around me who had a natural and I had NO IDEA what to do with my hair as it began to grow out. I went on my favorite hair board and saw all these people who could do so many styles and I really wanted that half up/half down style that I saw a few others wear. Granted, my hair needs to be handled with care, but because of all of the negative feedback that I was getting, I began to try to pick my hair out in the perfect little TWA and that was when everything went downhill. These days, I don't pick my hair at all. I DID cut almost a half an inch off (the colored ends had to go) so in a sense I am starting over. My regimen consists of the same three step process that worked so well in the past even with me switching it up and trying everything under the sun. I used to shampoo and condition with my Suave products of choice and then moisturize with whatever beckoned for me at the time. I have some Suave stuff but I plan to use up my Nature's Gate stuff first. Suave is really cheap and readily available. I think it's cool to use their shampoo as long as I follow it up with the condish. I've seen a few people post about castor oil. I really wish I liked it. I might go ahead and use it after all of my fifty leven other products run out. I don't remeber any itchies with it, but who knows....

As for my DD's hair, it is coming in nicely and I'm not doing anything special other than the fact that I DID add conditioner back into the regimen and it's just cheapie Suave. Nothing special there, but I think it allows me to comb easier. Also, I try no to handle her hair unless it is COATED in moisturizer. The breakage factor is a part of the type of hair that we have, so I just have to be gentle with both.

Thanks to all who have offered their support and patience. I'll keep you posted.

OKAY...SO OIL IS A NO...

2009-02-19T15:54:00.000-08:00

Weeeeellll...,
I hope that I can get past this, but I think I'm going to have to lay down the oil once and for all. As much as I like to have shiny hair, I can't deal with the itchy scalp. With that said, I went out and bought some Proline comb-thru moisturizer. I like the ease with which I can section my hair off with this product, though I DON'T like the way that my hair feels when it is wet and I apply the product. Once I trim off these colored ends (a while down the road) my hair will feel a lot better. It feels soft and moisturized NOW, though my scalp still flakes. I tried putting the moisturizer directly on my scalp, but it didn't work. So, I'll just have to be resigned to a flaky sclp and moisturized hair. I just want to keep my hair from breaking. I only use a comb on wash day, after that I try to use the end of a rattail comb for parting and use my fingers to smooth out sections. I typically smooth downward. I am reading a very interesting book on hair maintenance by Chicoro. I am not going to get into the specifics of her methods (due to copyright) but it is very interesting. I'm not sure exactly how much of what she wrote applies to me, but my goal is to grow TRUE shoulder length hair. I do like her trimming advice. I recommend that you get her book if you need tips on growing out your hair. She is very pretty, with a head FULL of GORGEOUS hair. I often wonder if my hair CAN actually get shoulder-length, because even getting bottom-of-the-collar hair is a milestone for me. So, here goes. I'm in my 30's and just NOW learning how to take care of my OWN hair.

I GOT IT ALL FIGURED OUT!!!

2009-02-16T08:52:00.000-08:00

Okay, so my hair is EASY!!! All I have to do is shampoo, condition, and apply an oil and commence to sectioning. Now, it's the SECTIONING that I don't like and never DID like but honestly, that's what HAS to be done to manage my hair. WHY I didn't stick it out is beyond me. I mean, if you KNOW that something WORKS, then why not DO that very thing?? The same thing goes for my daughter. Here I am mixing up all kinds of concoctions, spending oocoo money on products, and all the time we would have been good with just some Nature's Gate Herbal shampoo and conditioner, Wild Growth Hair Oil and sectioning. After I section my DD's hair, I let it dry and then cornrow her stretched hair. Her hair is MUCH easier to get through than mine. Her breakage spots are really filling in now that I have stopped using rubber bands. I really think it was the mechanics of what I was doing moreso than the products, though the clarifying shampoo was stripping and couldn't possibly have helped. I will be putting my hair back in twists today. The goal is to leave it like that for a week. So far, I have NOT been able to go one whole week without shampoing my hair. I only do my dd's hair once per week, though. All in all, I am a LOT happier with my hair now than I was about a week ago. I will just have to carve out some time in my sched for my hair.

ADDING TO THE NAME

2009-01-17T03:48:00.000-08:00

Weeeeellllllll....there are so many other things to talk about. I LOVE talking about hair, but so many of my hair idols have thick hair. WHY do I sit and drool over their fotkis KNOWING that my hair will NEVER be like that. WHY? I know that my hai is fragile (hence this blog) and though many people out in nappy cyberspace ALSO have kinky hair, when see their strands I'm like MAN!!! There ARE a couple of fine haired extremely kinky nappies with long hair (that I KNOW of ), but it would seem that they are few and far between. I wouldn't even knw where to begin to get long hair. I know that braids and twists (basically just moiturinzing the hair andkeeping it in protective styles) would help, but my scalp goes CRAZY when I leave braids in for any length of time. I don't neccessarily like the way that ma hair looks when I don't pick it out, plus I get terible knots if I don't. I don't know what to do! I am 34 and I have always wanted long hair, but perhaps I shuld get over that too. I mean, with all of the allergies and problems that I have had, there's really not MUCH that I can use.

Okay, so I found a really GREAT gentle shampoo. It is Nature's Gate Herbal nourishing (I think) but it is also known as the "original". I was tempted to get the conditioner, but then I was like WHY?? I love that strong herbal smeel, though. It is no longer SLS based (the shampoo) but it has SLS in it after the long C14-blah-blah-blah lathering agent. It is really very gentle and mild. It is also easily affordable and readily available. That's a plus for me these days!

MY HAIR, OH MY HAIR!!!

2009-01-17T03:27:00.000-08:00

So, my hair is doing what hair does (growing) but with shrinkage it is IMPOSSIBLE to tell. I REALLY want to be able to wear a headband with my fro, but it is SO tiny. I have been experimenting with making a homemade spritz. My first concoction consisted of conditioner, oils, glycerin and water, but the particular conditioner that I got (Suave Natural Vanilla Floral) did not provide ANY slip for my hair. When using this concoction, I began to notice little pieces of hair on the counter after piking, which is something that I never had with my Qhemet products. I stopped using Qhemet because I think it was causing me to break out. My skin is slowly improving, so we'll see. Still not quite sure if it was the products or the monthly, only time will tell. Qhemet is still working out well for my daughter, so I will continue to use it on her hair until I run out. I also have a few jars of Qhemet's Burdock Root butter cream on order, so that should tide her over for a while. I love high quality, natural products, but I REALLY don't like having a wait time for haircare stuff. I think my next spritz concoction will be simply glycerin and water. It is very moist here in Washington, so I should be good. I am tired of acne, and I think that oil and acne simply do NOT go together. I haven't had a lot of success in the past with glycerin and water, but since I STOPPED using conditioner, my hair actually seems to respond to moisturizers better. We'll see how it goes! LOL!

I think I'm in a boredom phase with my hair. It takes SO LONG to show any significant increase in length that I get frustrated. It LOOKS like my hair doesn't grow, but I KNOW that it does. I just want to be able to wear a headband without it showing in the back. I used to be okay with my headband showing, though. Maybe I just need to get over it!! LOL!

Another thing that would probably help is if I could lose some weight. It's hard for me to feel good about a simple thing like hair when the way that I feel about my overall physique is out of whack. I can REALLY see my weight gain in my face, so that ALSO makes it difficult for me to like my TWA. I feel like my face just looks HUGE!! The problem with weight loss (at least for me) is dieting. It DOESN'T work for me. I'll get on a diet (or lifestyle change) and I'll lose the weight only to gain it back and then some. Right now, even a two pound weight loss is an incredible feat. I was reading the book "Overcoming Overeating" and it began to help, but it has been extremely difficult to break some of my old habits.

I guess this is just a frustrating time for me as a whole! My goal is to STOP saying such negative things to myself each and every day and learn to LIVE. It's hard to overcome years of negativity at times, but I KNOW that I must get there.

MY RECENT NAPPTURALITY POST...A FEW MORE GEMS

2009-01-01T18:46:00.000-08:00

Here is my post dated January 1, 2009 in the "Fragile Hair " thread that I started. It contains some of the info from my earlier essay, but it also contains a few nuggets that I hadn't though of before.

** Disclaimer- you have probably heard all of this a THOUSAND times. Knowing is half the battle....

Hi ya'll!! So many things...so many things!! Well, I'll address these as I remember them....
These are the findings for MY hair, so if you don't agree..cool. Take what you can, though.
KNOTS- not NECCESSARILY due to having split ends. Think of nappy hair as a mass of telephone cords that are curled up from daily use. If you have a job where you have to be on the phone at all....this visual might work for you...anyway, imagine that you try to pull ONE cord out of the pile...well, the other cords are going to cling to that cord, making it very difficult to get it out of the pile. This is what happens to our hair when we pull on it for ANY reason, whether it be hand in fro, picking, twisting, braiding, etc. Now, there ARE ways to avoid the MAJORITY of tangles, but I tend to think that tangles are a characteristic of the type of hair that we have. Now, I know there will be people who say that they NEVER get tangles (come out, come out wherever you are) and that's cool, but after handling MINE and my DDs hair as well as reading the posts of others, I tend to think that this is part of the territory. These days, when I find a tangle or knot, I slide my fingers ACROSS the knot rather than containing to pull on it vertically, which TIGHTENS the knot. Sliding the fingers across the knot loosens the strands. It's pretty amazing! Another tip (which I got out of a fotki SOMEWHERE) is to lift the strands up OUT of the knot, which also works.
CONDITIONER- I don't NEED this stuff. After looking at COUNTLESS bottles, I just don't see (other than external applications of protein) WHAT the benefit is other than coating the strands and making them APPEAR shinier. A decent conditioner will make the hair feel soft after rinsing, but doesn't clean (not stripped) nappy hair feel soft when it's DAMP anyway? That is definitely the case for my hair. What got me was the fact that AFTER my hair dried, it felt NO DIFFERENT than it would after simply shampooing and applying moisturizer. Another point to make my case....the ingredient that are found in a conditioner are often found in leave in moisturizers. If these ingredients are so great for the hair, WHY rinse then off? Keep in mind that I'm not referring to protein. I HAVE however seen ceteryl and stearyl alcohol (which are the base alcohols for most conditioners) in leave-ins. A lot of people also use things like honey and olive oil to condition, and these can ALSO be left in. I'm not suggesting that people leave mashed avocado, mayonnaise, etc, in their hair, though, LOL!! :lol: FOR ME, conditioner was an unnecessary expense and a marketing ploy.
SLS IS EVIL- I used to argue that I could use regular shampoo with success. However, after finding a GREAT non-SLS shampoo , I no longer feel that way. It all started with a shampoo bar, but it didn't stop there because I have hard water, and shampoo bars leave a film on my hair under those circumstances. HOWEVER, my hair felt softer after using a shampoo bar and then applying moisturizer than it did after using regular shampoo and then applying moisturizer. So, my final diagnosis is that SLS is the debbil. Another reason that I feel this way is the fact that my DD's hair would always be brittle after shampooing with REGULAR shampoo, but NOT after using the natural alternatives. I HAVE to use shampoo, though. I cannot no-poo, use baking soda, herbal rinses, etc due to my scalp. It just is what it is.
OILS LUBRICATE, BUT DO NOT MOISTURIZE- In the beginning paces of my naptural journey, I noticed that most all-natural hair creams had shea butter as a base. This was fine as long as the shea was combined with water and other goodies. However, after using the product for a while, my hair would become BRITTLE. What happened? BUILDUP! It wasn't obvious to me at first, but I would use good old-fashioned shampoo and voila! The shea based product would work for me! Nowadays, I have come to realize that there are better ingredients for my hair than shea. Another interesting phenomenon regarding moisture was that if I combined glycerin and oils along with water, I had a REALLY great moisturizer. However, if I tried to only use glycerin or ONLY use OIL, it was a recipe for hair disaster. So, I now use a cream that has water, oils and glycerin and my SHRUNKEN hair feels great, which is saying a lot.
TWISTS BRAIDS AIN'T FOR EVERYONE- When I twist or braid my hair, little peices of hair drop off and fall onto my shirt. I do not like this, so I just don't braid or twist my hair. EVER. Now, as my hair get's longer (if it ever gets long enough to pull back) my style methos will change, but it won't involve taking small sections of my hair and twisting them around each other. If I had hair like my DD, it would be eaisier. The surface of her hair is smoother. It's hard to explain, but braiding and twisting is NOT for me.
I KNOW I don't have long hair, but I DO believe that with everything that I have learned I will reach my full growth potential. My hair was cut down to about 1/8 of an inch or so back in June and I am well on the way to 3 inches of hair. Now, that equates to about 3 inches in 6 months, which is average, but I had several trims before deciding to go full on with the growth progress. So, that's my .02.
Thanks!

S2S A FAIR Asessment

2008-12-22T16:40:00.000-08:00

I decided to write a fair assesment of the prodcts that I used from S2S. Since I LOVE my Qhemet products SO much, it was very hard to be objective. At any rate, the Lavish cleasning Phoo was very slippery and gentle. The oil moisturizer was light, nogreasy and moisturinzing. However....I had a pretty bad reaction (face and body broke out) and I have since tossed the products. I will HAVE to stick to my Qhem's. I have some Wheatgrass cleansing tea on the way. I haven't used it in a long time and I will post my reviews once it gets here.

Hair length

2008-12-21T21:42:00.000-08:00

I measured my hair at 2 1/2 inches for the most part. There are a couple of places in the back (where it seems to grow fastest) where it is almost three inches long. I think the front is the slowest growing area overall. I am in the TWA grow out challenge on Nappturality. I originally thought the goal was to have 5 inches of hair at the end of 2009, which I thought would be easy. However, I think the goal is to have inches of growth in a year. I THINK I can do it, but it took about 6 months for me to get to this point, so I might get 4 inches in a year. I really think that my growth rate (assuming that I can retain all of the length) is 4 inches per year, which is slower than the average rate of 6 inches per year. So, if I'm lucky, I'll have a total of 6 inches at the end of 2009. We'll see. I don't think I've been there in a while. The first year that I was natural, I grew my hair out pretty well. Of course, after I started combing, etc, I lost a lot of length. Now that I am being gentle with my hair and dampen it prior to picking, I may actually get lucky. My overall gal is 8-10 inches of hair. I don't think have EVER had that much hair! I want a 2 inch shrunken fro so that I can wear cute scarves. Plus, 2 inches bulk is all that I can wear in uniform. If my hair got longer, I would actually be able to pull to back. That is something that I haven't been able to do since going natural. I think I need 10-12 inches for that. My head is pretty big, so in order for the bangs to stretch all the way to the back, it has to be pretty long. I'm trying not to get too hung up on length, but I would like to pull my hair back.

My daughter's hair looks awesome since I redid her cornrows. I LOVE it. I think I'll achieve my goals for her hair. I would like for her thin patches to be three inches long (and full) by the summer. I don't know why the same patches get thinned out. I have to look at my styling methods. No more rubber bands these days. I did a really good trim in October, I think. I cut quite a bit off to even it up. As her hair grows out, I plan to keep it trimmed to a certain length so that it can fill in. We'll see how it goes.

PICKING AGAIN!

2008-12-18T11:42:00.000-08:00

Well, I whipped out my Widu the other day and began to pick out my hair. My concensus is that I prefer my hair picked out, so that is what I do, however, I have had to figure out a better way to get through my hair now that it is growing out. I use the Qhemet Amla and olive heavy cream daily and it works for me.

My daughter's hair fared MUCH better on wash day. I realize that the culprit for breakage is DEFINITELY rubberbands and SLS-based shampoo. Rubber bands cause breakage because her hair gets all wrapped and tangled around them and I end up ripping out her hair when I take them out. Shampoo (SLS-based) makes her hair brittle. I think her cuticles get raised. I would never have believed this until I saw the damage for myself. We have a long way to go but I think we can get there now. On wash day, I used the extra honey beer and egg shampoo bar from Chagrin Valley Soap and Crafts. It is really gentle and it actually gets her hair and scalp clean.

I scored!

2008-12-01T21:18:00.000-08:00

I ordered three jars of Qhemet's Amla and Olive Heavy Cream during the sale today! I am so happy. It really works well for me and I was tempted to get some of the other products but decided that it would be unneccessary. I am happy with the results that I am getting, so I don't need anything else.

I rebraided my daughter's hair last night. I think I pretty much have the concept down. Armed with the heavy cream and a spray bottle of water, I was able to do a pretty good job with her hair. I am on the path of acceptance of her frizz because almost as soon as I get her hair finished it looks a couple of days old. Oh well.

I am pretty bored with my hair. Now that I don't comb/pick it I see little white balls in my hair occasionally. They are from shed hair. I'm not really sure what (if anything) I should do about this. I have read many posts on hair boards where people have stated that they clear out the shed hair with a Denman brush and whatnot, but I think that would be damaging to my hair. Hmmmm.......

What to do??

2008-11-27T21:08:00.000-08:00

Okay, so the purpose of this blog is to talk about FRAGILE hair. Today, my concern is with my daughter's hair. I've allowed her to wear it in an afro for the last few days but it was not looking so hot I decided to put it in cornrows. Armed with a spray bottle of water and very GENTLY pulling the hair apart with the comb and parting it SLOWLY, I did okay and kept from damaging her hair TOO much. I noticed SEVERAL patches in her hair where the hair was less than an inch long and I REALLY think that rubber bands were the culprit. When I used to take her hair down and shampoo it, I would notice SO much hair going down the drain. The last couple of times that I washed it, however, she did not lose NEARLY as much hair. I haven't been using my old standby Suave Daily Clarifying either, so I think that helps with the brittleness. I'm hoping that in six months I can get the growth back for her with my NEW gentle methods and great products. I would like to even her hair up as well, but we'll see how it goes. No more rubber bands for her!! I've thrown them out, so we'll see how it goes.

IT'S OVER NOW!!!

2008-11-22T07:31:00.000-08:00

I've figured it out! Keep it simple!! Cleanse, moisturize daily pick and go!! It CAN't get much eaiser than this!!

MY NEW SHAMPOO

2008-11-18T10:28:00.000-08:00

Hey fragile-haired friends!! Today I made my own shampoo. I basically had about 3-4 ozs of veggie glycerin that I poured into a bottle of about 8-12 ounces of castile soap. The soap of choice was the peppermint kind. I was AMZED at how soft my hair felt after shampooing!! I tried to do an ACV rinse after that and it made my hair hard so I won't be doing that again! I am so happy!! Now I have my regimen totally down. I shampoo with my homemade mixture and then apply the Qhemet Amla and Olive Heavy Cream, pick and go! I also use the AOHC on my daughter's hair and it feels great!!! No more Blue Magic!

OH MY SCALP!!!

2008-11-14T10:56:00.000-08:00

Okay, so I was using the Leche de Coco from Asha's and I woke up one morning with my scalp itchy and inflamed. The only thing different in that product from what I have been using is the ylang ylang. so what now?? Well, I have some Qhemet on the way and I can't wait to get it. I tried using my daughter's Blue Magic (wonderful for HER hair) and it makes my hair virtually IMPOSSIBLE topick out, so I won't be able to continue using it. I remeber that from times past. It DOES soften my hair, but it HURTS to pick it out after I use that stuff. So right now I'm STUCK unless I just use plain olive oil, which causes my hair to be hard when used alone. This is a hrd road for me right now. I think I'll be oaky as long as the heavy cream doesn't affect me. at least THEN I will have SOMETHING that I can count on. Perhaps the sulfur in it will help my scalp. We shall see.

MY CRAZY HAIR GOAL.....

2008-11-05T11:27:00.000-08:00

Ok, so here goes...I want a TWO INCH SHRUNKEN FRO!! Think I can do it?? Well, I'm no mathemetician, but right now, my shrunken fro (on a good day) looks to be about 1/2 of an inch long. I would say that it is about 2 inches long (or so) stretched right now. So, I figured that in order to have a two inch shrunken fro, I will need about 8 or more inches of growth. Since I have never accomplished this, it seems like an incredible feat. However, if I keep mamnaging it the way that I do right now, I should be able to get there by next summber. I'll keep 'ya posted!!

PRODUCTS

2008-11-05T11:09:00.000-08:00

Okay, so here's my rant on products!! I'm having a hard time figuring it out!! I will use something new and then my scalp will be on fire. I recently decided to go back to Asha's MA and I also have some Qhemet Biologic's Amla and Olive Heavy Cream on the way. MA was my old love and then I decided that I no longer liked it, but I think I'm just crazy when it comes to my hair because NOTHING really affects my carpet all that much. I mean, there are some things that soften it more than others (alas my ghee...SIGH) but overall it STILL looks the same! SO WHY DO I KEEP PUTTING MYSELF THROUGH THIS????!!!!! I just need to get a few key things and step on! I think it's my devotion to the hair boards that gets me caught up at times. I think what will help is if I go ahead and just uuse distilled water. It is very time consuming, though and there was only one brand that really worked well and then I couldn't find it on the shelves. I think it was Ozark or SOMETHING. At any rate, I'll give it a try again because I think it will really help both mine AND my daughter's scalps since we BOTH get that flakiness and itchiness that probably comes from the water being so hard here. I ordered some of Asha's rosemary mint shampoo. This stuff actuially WORKED on my daughter's hair if I used distilled water, but NOT with regular tap water. Her scalp was doing better back then too! The only thing that works well with our hard water is Suave Daily clarifying, which is EXTREMELY drying and stripping to our hair. I am TIRED of having my hair feel dry and stripped. ARRRGGGGHHHH!!! I did like the Qhemet's wheatgrass cleansing tea as well, though. I think it would work better with distilled water also.

The Sophia's Old fashioned hair grease ended up making sores on my scalp, but my daughter's hair and scalp are still holding up extrmely well, so I think I'll keep using it on her.

I used some whipped pudding this morning and my hair is soft but I don't think my scalp likes the added fragrance, so maybe I'll get an unscented jar down the line.

I think that Asha's MA has the BEST fragrance of any product that I've ever used.

Oyin is AWESOME on damp hair and it helps with detangling, but I NEED to get it unscented. My hair feels GREAT now that it has dried!

HAIR GREASE

2008-10-31T14:44:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I got some Sophia's Old-Fashioned Hair Grease from www.myhoneychild.com and I like it. The fragrance is STRONG and FRUITY, though. It smeels a LOT like Kemi Oyl. It DID soften my hair a bit and I am hoping that it will work on my daughter's hair as well. Her hair is currently caked with everything from Motion's oil moisturizer (which I took back) to Blue Magic hair and scalp conditioner (also known as grease) so I can't WAIT to wash it and apply ONLY the SOFHG. I like the way that it layed her hair down. I basically do the same thing with both of our heads each morning. I spray our hair with water and then procced to style. Proceed to to style (for me) means that I use my Widu pick and lift my hair all over. For my daughter, I use an ACE comb that is AWESOME for detangling. I use Suave Daily Clarifying shampoo for my daughter and it usually takes three lathers to get all of the grease out of her hair. That is a LOT of washing!

I miss my Qhemet but I sent it out yesterday to someone who can use it! I feel sad about that but I HAVE to press on! My next order from Qhem is the heavy cream. I have to give it ONE more try because creams work BEST for me. The hair grease is nice, but the creams PENETRATE and soften better. I LOVE soft hair.

MY SCALP!!!! ARRRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!

2008-10-25T11:30:00.000-07:00

Ok, so my BELOVED ghee is causing my scalp to flake. I think it is the conditioner ingredients that are the culprit. By this, I mean the Behentrimonium methosulfate and the cetyl alcohol. Those products work wonderfully in my hair as a detangler, but they should not be left in. Having said that, I think my alternative would be a "hair grease" type of product. I ordered some of "Sophia's Old-fashioned hair grease". It was a toss up between that and La'Vida Given by Nature's ginger and berries. There was a couple of reasons why I did not order that product. 1) PRICE. 2) Orange oil. I avoid that stuff like the PLAGUE!!! I hope I like this stuff because right now I am using B&B's "extra lite" hair grease. I like it okay, but I DO NOT Like using minera oil or petrolem based products on my skin. I hope it doesn't take very long to ship. Some online stores take a month! Other than the latest scalp issu, my hair is thriving, but greas DOES give it more shrinkage. Ahhh wellll.....

OLD SCHOOL STUFF

2008-10-20T11:06:00.000-07:00

Welllll.....I've tried to make the things that work for MY hair work for my daughter's hair, but hers seems to thrive with petroleum based stuff. I mean, her scalp looked healthier the last time I simply shampooed it and applied Blue Magic to it. There are plenty of people who probably remember this product. It comes in several formulations (just found that out a few months ago) but the most popular ones are the blue or green formula. My stepmommy always preferred the green one. It has ingredients in it like lecithin, lanolin, and olive oil. When I apply this stuff to my daughter's hair, it makes it easier to manage. I'm thinking of getting some Pink Oil moisturizer for her hair, but I'm not sure if I'm ready to venture out to that yet. I put her hair in the most adorable cornrows last night and she looks so cute! I am trying to get the top layers (her hair seems weaker there) to grown down over the bottom ones.

As far as my hair goes, I STILL LOVE the detangling ghee from Qhemet. It is expensive, so I'm watching closely in order to get a feel for how often I'll need to order it. A 5oz jar is $14, but it works so well in my hair. I remember being able to get my hair to feel like this in the past, but I can't seem to get the same products to work for me these day. Also, I can apply this product to my dry hair and it works wonders for helping me to shape my fro without adding additional water.

Should I GIVE UP the COMB???

2008-10-16T09:44:00.000-07:00

If you know anything about me, you know that I have been singing the praises of the Widu comb. Shoot...I even posted about it on this blog. Well, after reading what my hair twin wrote, I'm wondering if I shoudl just abandon the comb altogether? I've done just that in the past, but then I never had a Widi pick. It worked really well in my daughter's hair this morning. Now, my daughter's hair is a totally different story. My goal is to get her hair fairly even all over and possibly be able to get it all in one littel bunny tail. I KNOW that is a big stretch for our hair, but if the back of her hair can be evenm why can't the rest of it? I think that once the brakage starts growing out (due to a whole new regimen) she will be fine. MOST of the problems came from the MECHANICS of how I HANDLED her hair. DRY COMBING is the devil and yet I consistently combed her hair while it was dry. More on that later....

This is it......

2008-10-14T08:24:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I have the MOST shrinkage of any Napp out there!! I DARE ya to say any different. My friend gave me an old pic and I was looking at it and remembering the weekend that it was taken and JUST how hard it was for me to get a pick through my hair due to shrinkage. I had SO many knots and tangles back then. My hair HAD to be about six inches and it barely looked like one inch. In fact, you could see the headband in back (not cute) and I was TRYING to have a faux puff and it just wasn't WORKING for me that day!! LOL!! Fast forward to today and I have figured out all of the basics and now I think my hair will be able to retain MORE length because I am ALL DONE with the fluffy puff. you know the one....you braid and twist and let it stretch out overnight and it's larger than life! LOL!! Well, In order to get that look to work for me I either have to spend a LOOOOOOOONNNNNNNGGGGG time shaping with my fingers or pick it, which is a NO-NO!! I should NEVER pick my hair when dry!!!! I will just have to hope that MAYBE I can get 10-12 inches of hair so that I can have a two to three inch fro. Will it happen? We shall see. I also have the issue of my temples! They do not grow as much (or they shrink more?) so when I DO have a fro and wear a headband it looks like it's it higher in the very front(behind the headband) and that is a hot mess. I have a pic that hubby and I took in a booth and I had that look going on. NOT cute!! So....with all of these issues, what's a girl to do? I think a chunky fro (or not SO evenly picked out) makes my hair look better. These days I have been using my Widu pick and it is SO easy on my hair it's ridiculous. Here's a link to one....www.widu.com. I LOVE my pick!! I do not endorse ANY kind of brushes or combs for MY hair twins. However, if you MUST brush, do so at your own risk. For me, that is definitely a recipe for disaster. My fro makes that famous UHHHHHOOOGUH!!! sound with bugged eyes when I even THINK about it.

WHY??

2008-10-11T21:32:00.000-07:00

Why have we been so bombarded with images of straight hair? What if we saw images daily of women with kinky hair and they got the best jobs? Would people be trying to kink their hair? Hmmmmm......

FRAGILE HAIR CARE: FRAGILE HAIR 101

2008-10-10T14:45:00.000-07:00

FRAGILE HAIR CARE: FRAGILE HAIR 101

FRAGILE HAIR CARE: I FOUND MY THRILL!!

2008-10-10T14:44:00.000-07:00

FRAGILE HAIR CARE: I FOUND MY THRILL!!

I FOUND MY THRILL!!

2008-10-10T14:37:00.000-07:00

I recently decided to try Qhemet's Cocoa Tree Detangling ghee. I LOVE this product. It has the scent of dark chocolate due to the virgin cocoa butter. This product gives great slip and keeps my hair soft all day! I also love the fact that it does not contain fragrances or harsh preservatives that will make my scalp itch. I have been through a LOT of products in my day, so I KNOW when I've found a keeper. Get yours at www.qhemetbiologics.com.

One other thing that I LOVE is my WIDU pick. I will not part with that thing. In my experience, kinky hair needs widely spaced teeth in order to keep from being torn out. I have noticed that since I keep certain combs in my reach, I do a lot better. I cut my hair off REALLY short, but hubby didn't like that (and to be honest, I was over it very quickly) so I am growing it back. I need to be gentle so that I don't do so much damage. What I typically do is apply some water (using my spray bottle) to my fro and then I apply the moisturizer after that. My hair is very easy to pick out if I handle it that way. DRY picking is a no-no!! DON'T DO IT if you have hair like mine!!!

FRAGILE HAIR 101

2008-10-10T14:30:00.000-07:00

I typed this essay after dealing with my hair for 4 years. I KNOW that there are a LOT of kinky hair-care books floating about out there, but this is my interpretation of what I have learned when dealing with fragile, kinky hair.

FRAGILE HAIR CARE

Due to mounting frustration with my kinky, fragile hair I have cut it short many times. Recently, I began to realize a few key factors in retaining length on the type of hair that I have on my head. My hair shrinks up very compactly to my scalp. In fact, it appears to be thick due to the amount of shrinkage it has, but the real story is that it is very fine and fragile. It will never show its true length unless stretched by braiding or twisting. If you can imagine a 6 inch spring that compacts down to one inch, you can picture my hair precisely. If you have kinky, tightly compacted hair, here are some tips for length retention and maintenance.

1) MOST combs/picks are no-no's. However, the RIGHT comb/pick can be used when the hair is DAMP and moisturized. In the case of my daughter’s hair, I made my own comb by purchasing an ACE comb and breaking off the closely fit bristles to form a handle while leaving the widely spaced teeth on the other end. The particular comb that I use is easily ordered online at Amazon.com.

2) Forget the shampoo commercials! Piling the hair on the head and twisting it around is a recipe for disaster on kinky hair! Gently squeeze and manipulate the hair. Most of the cleansing process (i.e. massaging) should be focused on the scalp while utilizing the lather to get build-up off of the strands. Gently pat or squeeze moisture from the hair with a towel. Vigorous rubbing will cause damage. Your hair may also retain more moisture with the use of shampoo on a regular basis due to the fact that fine strands are more susceptible to build-up which will keep moisture out.

3) Conditioner may be fun to use, but it is not a necessity. May people will disagree with this, but I have looked at many bottles of conditioner in my day. Most commercial conditioners are wax-based, which may make your hair feel silkier, but in the long run it is not doing anything major for your hair. There are herbal rinses and various concoctions out there that are touted to strengthen the hair, but if your hair is healthy to begin with and you aren’t damaging it, that shouldn’t be an issue. The conditioning process seems to be more therapeutic than anything else. Feel free to use conditioner, but don’t set high expectations on a bottle of wax!

4) A good moisturizer/detangler must have “slip”. Slip is a quality that aids in detangling, and minimizes breakage. It allows the comb to sort of “glide” through the hair. Different things work for best for different hair types. For some, it is the good ole-fashioned hair grease that does the trick. For others, it is a cream-based product that works its magic. Some even prefer oil-free products such as glycerin-based sprays. The choice is personal. Please be advised that traditional detanglers are often laden with silicones that can coat the hair and cause build-up, which can make the hair hard.

3) Combing/picking/detangling for kinky hair is not like what you see on T.V. You will NEVER be able to simply “run a comb through” your hair. You must use gentle, “plucking” movements. Even then, you will have some breakage. Do not be alarmed! This is inherent due to the fact that there are several bends and kinks in the strand. However, your shoulders and bathroom floor should not be coated with broken hairs at the end of a detangling session. As you get savvier with the detangling process, you will see less breakage. As your hair gets longer you will need to grab the section of hair close to the scalp and detangle from the roots to the ends. Do not simply put the comb/pick in the hair at the roots and tear your way down your strands!

4) Keep it simple! There are a lot of hair boards out there and they are awesome! However, in the early stages of getting familiar with your natural, kinky crown, it is easy to become a product junkie while in search of the “holy grails” Many people love deep conditioning treatments, hair rinses, exotic oils, etc. Experience has proven for many people, however, that a simple routine of cleanse, condition (or not) and moisturize will do very well. In fact, a good moisturizer can function as a "leave in" conditioner.

5) Protective styles tend to work in your favor. If you want to minimize breakage, it is ideal to put the hair up in twists, braids or other styles that you can create and forget for a while. However, if faced with a situation where a sensitive scalp or other lifestyle concern does not allow for protective styles, be careful if you manipulate your hair daily.

6) Please do not allow the typical standards of beauty to dictate to you how you handle or style your hair. . My hair retained significant length the first year that I wore it natural because I kept it simple and I RARELY EVER combed my hair. I did a lot of finger styling and I was fine with my hair’s appearance. It was not until I became more in tune with what others thought that I began to destroy my hair. On a good hair day, my hair will appear chunky and wild, which can be undesirable in the “straight, flowing hair” mentality that is so prevalent in our society. On my hair, I have to avoid twists, braids, cornrows, or most of the styles that seem to work on kinky hair. It doesn’t really seem to matter if I use protein treatments or not, because twisting and manipulating my hair inevitably leads to tangles, which then leads to breakage. Now, I still do these styles occasionally, but I just have to accept the breakage that comes with it. My hair looks very deceiving because it has about 90% shrinkage, so if someone sees my hair, they think it’s thick and can withstand pulling/yanking and combing. I could have 10 inches of hair and it MIGHT shrink down to 2 inches. Needless to say, I have never had 10 inches of hair because of my insistence on combing. I still have to learn not to be so rough when applying moisturizer to my loose hair, because simply rubbing in a moisturizer will cause breakage, so as my hair gets longer, I will need to learn a new technique for applying moisturizer.

7) Learn to accept your hair! In a world where long, flowing hair is considered the desirable norm, short kinky hair is often lauded as ugly or a thing to be pitied. That is definitely not the case. Not everyone will have long hair! Now, I know that there are people out there who will disagree with this, but I believe that there is a predetermined length that the hair will grow. If you truly desire to discover your max length, you can try
placing the hair in braids and keeping them in (with touch-ups, of course) for a year or two. If you handle the hair in the ways described above, employ a gentle braider, and still only see 6 inches of hair after two years, then it is safe to assume that your max length is six inches.

In a nutshell, if you have hair that is like mine (and you probably wouldn’t be reading this if you didn’t) be gentle, have patience, and ENJOY YOUR HAIR!!!!!